Then and now

2008

AAAAAACK!  The creepy man is trying to get me!  AAAAAAAACK!!! Mommy, HELP!

2009

:::runs right up and climbs onto the lap:::

Santa, you are coming to MY house on Christmas!  Are you going to use the door?  Noooo.  You’re going to come down the chimp-i-ney.  And the reindeer are going to come down the chimp-i-ney too.  And presents.  Shhhhh.  N-Man is sleeping.  No. I not awake.  I  sleeping.  I don’t want a train. I want a ball.  And some candy.  Yes!  I want candy corn.  Is N-Man a naughty boy?  Nooooooo. N-Man is a good boy…. Hey, what’s that?  A camera!  Say cheese!

::::resumes talking non stop:::

FINALLY!  The Christmas I’ve been looking forward too!! Let the festivities officially begin!!

C’est si bon!

As I was laying in bed last night, back turned to the N-Man, mentally running though the things I needed to accomplish very early in the morning, I suddenly felt him jump up. I rolled over to discover the N-Man folded in half, semi standing on his head.   I blinked.

WHAT are you doing?  The N-Man giggled as he stood there, butt end up,  and whispered, Down doggie.

::blink-blink, blink-blink::

He lifted up an awkward, off balance, not so graceful leg and grinned.

I turned on the light, in utter disbelief.  Mind you it was 10:30, waaaaay past his bed time, but who’s going to interrupt a show like this? He stood up, raised his hands above his head slowly, placed his palms together and slowly brought them to his chest, breathing deeply (and loudly)  before raising one foot up and placing it on his thigh (using the headboard for balance).  He then lifted his hands up and gleefully squealed,  Pick the apples off the tree!

He ran through his routine three times before finally falling over.  He beamed and  laughed uncontrolably, then lay back down on his pillow and closed his eyes. I stared at him, speechless,  as he lay there,  in awe of all of yet another random, priceless, beautiful moment brought to me courtesy or motherhood and, finally, turned off the lights again.  A little hand reached out and took hold of my finger and a tiny voice whispered into the darkness.  Mommy?     Yes, Baby?    I like yogurt!

 I finally replaced my broken camera so I promise to follow up with video and pictures sooner than later.

A mind is a terrible thing

It’s crazy how our minds can grab hold of a detail and start to run away with it.  Really, as a general species, we are quite an ego centric bunch, no?    Most times I’m able to catch myself when my brain runs away with my logic, but I can get just as caught up in it as the next person sometimes.  Let me assure my readership, what’s left of it after my hiatus and incredibly sporadic thoughts, that if you ever see a vent on here and wonder if it’s directed towards you, it’s most definitely not.  If I have something specific so say to any one person, I promise I’ll just talk to you.  Unless you’re not someone I talk to or want to talk to, in which case you probably don’t know my blog even exists, and also  in which case, if it’s even relevant or worth my efforts, I’ll just hang the laundry out there to flap in the breeze.  

Anyway,  the  group I mentioned in my pity party post who left me out of an event was not anyone who reads this blog  and it wasn’t worth going into.  But since  four people have emailed me, convinced and thinking it was directed at them, allow me.   It was just a group that went hand in hand with my shiny, happy, perfect family frustrations: a neighborhood group of moms and kids the same age as the N-Man with whom I had started getting together so he could have friends near by. 

And while it’s really not worth my energy spending a lot of time on and I’m just moving on, I do have this to say to the wannabe Stepford wives that decided the single mom should not bring her gonna-grow-up-to-be-a-terroist-because-Ann-Coulter-said-so son  to the playgroup Halloween party.  Statistically speaking, half you are going to end up single parents as well some day.   And what are you going to do with yourselves  then?  Sadly, when it happens, I’ll probably be willing to lend a hand because that’s the kind of person I am and  I whole heartedly believe parents, single or otherwise, really need to be there to respect and support each other, not judge, for the sake of all of our children.  So you  just let me know how things work out for you when the time comes and we’ll chat again when I don’t have to yell so you can hear me way up there on that high horse.

When life gets you down… DECORATE!

I’m over it.  Pity party done.  Shit happens.  It’s happened before and it will happen again and the world will keep spinning.  I actually got over it about an hour after my last post but have been too busy to come back and assure everyone that I am not, indeed, hiding under a black  shroud sobbing hysterically.

I got up early the next day and headed out to the barn to pack up and move the hoofed one.  No. He’s not sold.  But my trainer, who has been a dear friend for the past two years, took a job out of state (contributing to my Friday sadness and anxiety) so we also packed up to start our own new adventure.  We are now official residents of the Colorado Horse Park and after just 48 hours I’m loving it.  As in loving it enough that I’m toying the the idea of NOT selling him after all.  It’s been a long time since I boarded at a full service barn, complete with a grooming staff that pampers the horses in the owner’s absence.  My guilt over not having as much time for the hoofed one, in lieu of my two legged baby needing me, may be alleviated.   All I know is that the possibility has re-lit a little flicker of fire in me.  I need my horse time.  It is my therapy.  I wanted to sell him for very valid reasons, but perhaps it’s not the best idea in the grand scheme of things.  We shall see. 

The N-Man went as an elephant for Halloween this year.  Ridiculously adorable.  Alas, my camera is broken (ahem, Santa?) so there are no pictures to memorialize the holiday this year.  But there was plenty of sugar high and giggles to be had.  Perhaps I’ll dress him up again at Thanksgiving and make him pose for a late photo op. Who’s going to know the difference?

And what to do on a Sunday afternoon with lingering blues and a child away with his father?  Go to Home Depot and go hog wild.   I know I’m not looking right now, but some how Home Depot always builds my confidence.  I always ALWAYS have encounters with the nicest men, non employee men,  when I’m there.  And more importantly, there’s nothing better for your ego  than launching a plan, putting into action, and seeing it through to the end yourself.  I love decorating and home improvement.   Sunday’s mission… take down the crappy, broken vertical blinds, repaint the dining room, and hang a new light fixture.   Amazing what a coat of fresh color can do for a room and your soul.  Again… no camera.  CRAP!  But that’s ok, because it’s not  finished yet  anyway.  I need to call my handy man to come put in the chair rail and crown moulding and wait for the new window treatments and art work that I ordered to arrive. But still, I love it.  LOVE  IT!   I would rather sit here in my pajamas all day admiring my masterpiece in progress than go to work, but life is calling.

That said, time to head up so I can head out.